Meitantei Baka
by fidu21
Summary: a detective, an idiot! chapter titles hat doesn't make sense! fidu21's first published story!
1. Chapter 1

Meitantei Baka (the great detective idiot or detective idiot for short)

This is a detective story, expect to see interesting murder cases and few fights, some dilemmas and clichés,

Invented poisons and inexplicable deaths, there are cases that are resolved only by geniuses, there are cases that only

Resolved by idiots, and some cases, only by the combination of both.

When you die, only your body dies, unless you get a headshot.

FILE01: Death is just plain rhetorical

Sakurabe highschool 11:00 A.M

Tohru-maaaaan im huuungry

{Tohru senjo,16 years old,class 1.B, job: student,junior detective}

Minami- just wait one more hour!

{Minami izumi,16 years old,class 1.B, job: student,asistant}

"skateboard sounds"

Ryu- SOMEBODY STOP THIS!

{Ryu kosaka,16 years old, class 1.B, job: idiot, student}

Mizuki- i told you!, it's dangerous to use my prototype turbo skateboard in the hallway!

{Mizuki ?,15 years old,class 1.B, job: student, "mad" scientist}

Kenji- huh, i guess it's hard even for me to take a photo at THAT speed

{Kenji ?, 16 years old, class 1.B, job: student, photographer}

"CRASH"

Ryu- owowow,last time i ride something with "DON'T RIDE" on it.

Aoko- are you alright ryu!

{Aoko akade,16 years old, class 1.B, job: student, obious love interest}

tohru- can't say i didn't se that coming

ryu- my body hurts but i don't seem much broken

tohru- that's becouse when you crash 73 times against a wall, you develop some kind of defense.

Minami- yeah, you should watch yourself where you go nex time.

ryu- yeah... next time...

aoko- hey everyone wanna go to the movies?

ryu- sorry, im busy

Minami- i have to do my homework

kenji,mizuki- we have to study

tohru- gotta help inspector yoshiro with a case

aoko- maaan everyone's so buusyyy!

7:03 P.M ryu's house

"at the phone"

Ryu- soo, what did you do with the boredom?

Aoko- i fell asleep

Ryu- hehe

"two men in black ram at ryu's door"

ryu-... so, it's time, eh?

Aoko- huh time for what? ryu? ryu!

? any final words?

ryu- yeah, hey aoko,

Aoko- what?

ryu- i... love you..

"machinegun sounds"

aoko- ryu! ryu? RYU!

7:35 P.M Ryu's house

minami- oh my!

kenji- such a shame, he had a full live to live, didn't he?

mizuki- poor guy,

tohru- indeed, however, in his honor we must figure out this murder. minami, cover him with the sheet, im done watching the body.

huh? where's aoko?

minami- she couldn't handle the shock, she's at home

tohru- mizuki, there's no poisoning and no fingerprints to check, go see aoko and try to help her.

yoshiro- there was no evidence found, looks like they just shot and left.

tohru- hmn... with this i deduce this: those two were part of an organization, and they were sent to kill ryu.

Minami- how did you deduce that?

tohru- easy. seeing the preocuped reactions of ryo this week, and the conversation on the phone, ryu knew the day he was going to get murdered, and the only people who do that are terrorist organisations, basicaly, ryu saw something he wasn't suposed to see.

yoshiro- amazing, typical from the great junior detective.

kenji- huh? what's this? on the roof! it says: 18. 21. 763. 4916572984 768251497-642

tohru- it's a special code he and i desinged, it translates as "go to the wharehouse meitantei-kun(detective-kun)"

minami- huh? "meitantei-kun"?

tohru- meitantei,meitan,meit,mei.. may! the may wharehouse!

kenji- it's five streets from here, i know where,

minami- then let's go-

tohru- No, it's too soon, they will be on they guard because of ryo's murder investigation, tomorrow we will go, let's leave the case like that, kenji give me the photos

kenji- magic wooordss?

tohru- give them to me or ill shoot you

kenji- -GULP-

9:09 P.M

tohru(mind)- ... the may wharehouse... what is there, why kill a kid?, i.. just hope i don't have to lose any more people. ryu.. you were an idiot among idiot's, but, idiot's are the most loyal and conforting, arent they?.

next day 3:00 P.M in font of the sakato police H.Q

tohru- ok, people, if you think it's too dangerous don't come. it's not obligatory.

minami,kenji,mizuki- OF COURSE WERE COMING!

tohru- grab a gun and let's get moving, to may wharehouse!

HALF TIME- EXTRAS

about tohru: to start he has a phobia of rats, that's pretty much whatever scares him, he was little,he wanted to be a cop, however after ceirtain incidents, decided to become a detective, started resolving crimes at the age of 15, he sure gained quite the atention, he is right handed, but, he shoot's his gun with his left hand, he is know for his "never missing left-handed shot".

FUN FACT: ryo was born in america with an american mother and japanese father, moved to japan at age of 11.

4:05 P.M may wharehouse

"kicks door"

police officer- GO,GO,GO!

tohru- don't you know that sealth means! SHUT UP!. ok, team let's go upstairs.

minami- but.. it's dangerous!

tohru- this place has a path outstairs im sure they don't know about, let's just go.

"some time later"

mizuki- what was that sound?

tohru- a part of the floor is too weak! minami watch out!

"pushes minami"

"falls"

tohru- GOD DAMMIT!

kenji- tohru!

tohru- go ahead, don't come here!

kenji- got it!

"walks"

tohru- gotta be carefull not to-

"bam! SNIPER SHOT SOUND"

tohru- what the!

?- don't move, detective

tohru- you... let me guess, you shot ryu right?

?- how did you!

tohru- the sniper, has some paint on it, you touched a part of the wall that had drying paint at his house.

?- very well, i guess i'll have to kill you too.

tohru- grrr, you.. you just shot ryu becouse you wanted to rigth, he didn't have a piece of info incriminating enough!

gen- scince you're going to die, i'll tell you my name, the name's gin, and this is your grave!

"shoots"

"hit's the right part of the head"

tohru- aa..a... m..mina...mi.. -consiousness fades-

3 days later.

minami- he's awake!

tohru- uhh what,where,... where am i!

mizuki- in the hospital, it's been 3 days

tohru- but... how am i still alive! he shot my rigth brain lobule!

doctor- we replaced that part with the right lobule of your friend ryu.

tohru- ryu's... brain.. even after death, you still help me huh?

minami- well, we'l leave you so you can rest, bye.

tohru- bye.

ryu- yo wazup

"tohru's eyes wide open"

"tohru sees a semi-transparent blue-like ryu"

ryu- how's it going

tohru- eh?... Eh?.. EEEEEEHHHHHHH!

-that day, i learned how rhetorical death is, and how silly life is.-

END of FILE01


	2. Chapter 2

Meitantei Baka! (detective idiot)

-I live thanks to you, and you live thanks to me-

FILE02: PARADOX

"Some days later, tohru's house"

tohru- so, basicaly, thanks to me having half of your brain, you thecniacly live inside of me?

ryu- more or less, i dunno.

tohru- well this is wei-... WOULD YOU MIND TO STOP READING DETECTIVE CONAN AND LISTEN TO ME!

ryu- sowy

tohru- well. it's nice to have you sort-of back.

"riiing,riiing"

tohru- hello?

minami- hiiii, hey let's go to the movies to celebrate your recovery

tohru- is a bunch of flashing images good from a brain recovery?

minami- uuhhhhh...

tohru- just kidding, il go now.

"beep"

ryu- don't you have better things to worry about?

tohru- i'l think about them in the movies

"some time later"

minami- ok so what movie do we watch?

tohru- let mee see.

ryu- the new detective conan movie!

tohru- are you kidding me

ryu- have some respect for the deaaaad!

tohru- "sigh" fine let's watch that one.

ryu- HELL YEA!

"some OTHER time after the movie starts"

?- kyaaa! a murder he's dead!

minami- what the?

tohru- this is what i was talking about!

?- help call the police!

minami- huh? saya-san! and th evictim is mouri-san!

saya- minami,tohru! thank god you're here! he's been killed!

tohru- yeah i think EVERYONE noticed that. everyone, close the building, minami, call kenji and mizuki, this is definetly poison, it's show time!

"time passes"

mizuki- this is fluorinite, but, tohru that means-

tohru- don't say it, the murderer may be hearing.

kenji- this are the photos, i gathered anyone close to-

tohru- no, bring everybody that was watching the movie, i have a strange feeling about this case.

ryu- so, poison, huh?

tohru- yeah, and it was in the popcorn, mouth ingensted.

minami- weird, tohru it's talking to himself, "sigh" detectives.

ryu- it was the butler!

Tohru- THIS IS A MOVIE THEATHER THERE ARE NO BUTLERS!

ryu- ur scary.

kenji- hey! who are you shouting at?

tohru- err, no one. hehehe..

kenji- pstt, hey minami, what do you think.

minami- about what?

kenji- tohru, he's been talking, and shouting. to himself lately.

minami- i dunno, im worried he took his death too far.

mizuki- sorry tohru, no traces of the posion on anybody.

tohru- what! it had to at least get into a bystander why he poured...

kenji- that's not all, checked the videos, there was no one close to him while he was poisoned, theese are the only ones close enough to give him the poison.

minami- saya-san, guy named meiru, and two highschoolers named tanya and nia.

tohru- ok look for more clues.

minami- hey! deko-san!

deko- i came here as fast as i could, poor guy, he got murdered, such a shame now.

ryu- soo, the ol saya did it? no, that doesn't seem right.

tohru- i know, and, he aparently only knew a bit about the poison. however..

ryu- hey! look! on the screen!

tohru- huh? a bag... a broken bag! mizuki come here!

Mizuki. yep this definetly carried the poison alright.

tohru- a templated bag.

ryu- huh?

tohru- a templated bag, you weaken and almost-open the bag, then you apply any amount of force and the bag opens.

ryu- it also seems to be atached to a string!

tohru- poison,saya,movie,detective,mouri,string... i almost have thsi done but..

ryu- look! the photo!

tohru- huh' this...

"looks at the roof"

tohru- a hanger! sticked to the roof!

ryu- i remember i once used a string and a hanger to drop a bucket on the teacher's head, nice days...+

tohru- i see, it all makes sense now!, hehe, bastard, now you will see, see what happens when you dare to challenge ME!

INTERLUDE- extras

Minami- nice, sweet, and childish, a kind of counterpart from tohru. exept they are both nice, she's scared of eels and always examines the body of the victims, she has purple hair tied with a ribbon, if you can't picture her, think of minami from baka to test but with boobs.

FUN FACT- mizuki and kenji are always close, but that's beco- #CODING ERROR# hppt,##$

saya- did you solve the mistery tohru?

tohru- yeah, so. first i'l start off by saying this. the one who pured the poison on mouri's hands... is you saya san!

"crowd surprises"

saya- but what? w w what? i didn't kill him! im not the murderer!

tohru- i didn't say you were the murder. i only sayed you pouerd the poison.

"crowd- EEEEEHH?"

tohru- ill explain, this theather use pre- assinged seats. so, he hung a string and the bag of poison tied to the murderer's seat

with a hanger atop mouri's seat, then, with a simple pull, he dropped the poison in your hands saya san.

"crowd aahhh!"

tohru- then he let go and the air conditioner blowed the bag.

saya- but... why didn't i die?

tohru- women's pheromones anulate the poison poisonus efects. also. the murderer forgot something.

minami- eh? what?

tohru- That grease wich is also found in popcorn also anulates the poison!, the poison only caused mouri to get K.O'd! isn't that right... DEKO-SAN!

deko- b. but why would i-

tohru- becouse you proposed to saya san a month ago, and she rejected horribly, becouse she was daitng mouri. also, scince mouri was a detective fan, you though this would do a fine grave!. am i wrong?

deko- well.. s. s. see if you can catch me!

"crash"

yoshiro- deko sakao, you're under arrest for murder attempt!

ryu- yay! case solved!

tohru- and thanks to you... we did it before dinner, nicely done!

"celebration time!"

later, night, tohru's house

ryu- so, what are you going to do?

tohru- easy, solve this mystery, and avenge you, my rigth brain lobule, and every person what has been killed by gen and that darn organisation. gen.. ill make you telling me your name.. the biggest mistake of your life!

-however, by this paradoxes, people help each other simultaniously, and we can move foward-

End of FILE02

next time- FILE03- PAIN


End file.
